The old saying - or at least, one very much like it - is that you cannot truly empathize with tragedy unless you experience it yourself. You can say you feel sorry for that poor family up the road but until your own meth lab explodes and sends the burning carcass of the family dog face-first into the backside of the local vicar, well, it always remains rather abstract, doesn't it?
But my tale flips that around somewhat.
Now, I'm the first to admit my employment history is checkered and unusual, with lots of day-long odd-jobs and month-long-dressed-as-mythological-avatars fitting up those bits where I wasn't nearly dead and undergoing humiliating and painful physiotherapy. So when I'm getting a review at Centrelink, there's a good-to-better chance I might have left out a day's magazine shifting or a weekend's packing goods simply out of human error with no malicious intent at all.
So when I got the word from the Link of Centre that the ATO says I did work I never mentioned to them my reaction bounced like a tennis ball between two points:
1) Duh, I can't remember everything from the last fifteen years off the top of my head
2) ARGGGHH!! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!!
It should also be noted that this was all basically online. I received emails and letters, with no pesky human interaction or a chance to state my case to another carbon-based life-form. So when I was effectively told "OK, we believe you just made a mistake, but you'll have to pay some cash back" I was bent over backwards in praise for their mercy and compassion.
I have issues with criticism and something of a persecution complex. I'm aware of this.
But the fact is I'm also doing pretty well for myself, living rent-free with people I love in a safe and nurturing environment. 80% of my Centrelink payment goes to my psychiatric/medical bills and the rest on luxuries like John Hurt War Doctor box sets and Rick and Morty comics. I'm not doing it hard like other folk out there, and I'm bloody grateful for that.
So, yeah, if anyone has to pay back Centrelink, best it's me.
And then they wanted the best part of $800. Like... now.
In desperation to appease the computer god and show my eagerness to make amends, I emptied my bank account and gave them circa $300. Surely that would count in my favor? A 37% repayment within minutes of being charged is a good show, isn't it?
The Centrelink didn't seem to receive it. My money had vanished into the ether between A and B.
More demands turned up, with horrible averations as to its intentions should I continue not to pay up.
My next payment was sacrificed to try and pay the rest.
Centrelink still hadn't got anything.
I went to the office in person and was told that these things sometimes take a while to tick over.
Christmas drew near as I shoved every last reserve of cash into the waiting online maw.
Then suddenly the computers ticked over. My debt was cleared, I need fear no more. Technically, I had overpaid by about $500 bucks which I would get back... in my regular payments. So, yeah, I grin and bare it as Christmas came and went with me unable to buy presents for my family (most horrifyingly of all, I discovered this at the freaking checkout and hand to return the stuff in front of a kilometre-long queue of impatient Christmas shoppers annoyed at me wasting their freaking time.)
But I wasn't bitter. Centrelink was off my back and all the paperwork showed that I, whatever my faults, was desperate not to be trapped in a web of inescapable debt. The mighty network also helped me against the sadistic cruelty of my employment agency who would have slashed my car tires if I possessed a car just to keep me and the rest of the "time-wasting scum" they were supposed to deal with in line.
Anyway, the thing is, I chalked this down to a (rather unpleasant) experience and was shocked to discover on the news that other people had been similarly bushwhacked by the "ATO says different, pay us back" issue which was striking out across Australia. People complained, demanded justice, insisted this was unfair and daylight robbery. I began to wonder if perhaps my self-esteem issues blinded me to the chance that maybe I actually had told Centrelink everything. Could it have been a bluff that I'd fallen for?
Yet it is not the thought I'd been robbed that chilled me as the reports came in, but rather that I'd been lucky enough to escape unscathed. I have no children to feed, no bills to pay, etc. Plenty of the other victims are not so fortunate, and the fact they're not getting help is even more disturbing.
But I'm fine, that's the main thing.
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