The Wit And Wisdom Of Evil Annie

Brilliant non-sequitur quotes from The Thing Known As Blubberguts. For added value, deliver them in the manner of Steve Foxx from Double the Fist reading letters from the ABC.

Context? Who needs context?

• I'm just so tired of it all. The injustice of it all. I spent my life trying to preserve Doctor Who, and now this has lost me all faith in human nature.

• Sadly, you can blame me for that. How I rue that day! I cried laughing.

• Nothing I may say or do could possibly make this dire situation any worse than it already is.

• I'll give you a phucking blow job.

• It has still been handled horribly wrongly, and leaves a nasty bitter bitter unchangeable taste in my mouth that can never wash away now.

• There is a famous old saying, chaps... "NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED".

• He's demented and I ignore him now. Next time a real lead comes along I shall tell it to f%%% off.

• I don't just believe it, I "know it" for a fact.

• The moderation is now worse than the old Outpost Gallifrey ever was. And the Romans welcomed Caligula with open arms because they were so fed up of Tiberius's tyranny. And they deleted my post on Gallifrey Base. SO PHUCKEM.

• It's run like a Borstal now. Why don't they just leave it closed forever. I mean it's neither use nor ornament. You gotta laugh haven't you - what a ridiculous bunch. It all started out with the best of intentions and is now run like a little girls kindergarten. What a phucking sad joke. No wonder that nobody of note will post in it these days, myself included. it exists purely for over zealous Mods and for no other reason on this planet.

• On the contrary, you are quite wrong. Petulance gets me everything I want.

• You couldn't invent this sh!t if you tried.

• After dedicating my entire life to trying to find missing episodes and improve what we have, I am offended beyond belief at your audacity to claim that it is "none of my business". I am disgusted with you, and shocked that you, of all people, would dare to say such a thing to me. But right now I am really horrified with you for your utterly callous words to me. It not only IS my business, but you know DAMN WELL it is.

• BRILLIANT-BRILLIANT-BRILLIANT-BRILLIANT-BRILLIANT-BRILLIANT-BRILLIANT-BRILLIANT-BRILLIANT-BRILLIANT-BRILLIANT-BRILLIANT-BRILLIANT-BRILLIANT-BRILLIANT ABSOLUTELY TRUE STORY.

• Why do you think I am so angry?? THIS makes me wanna spit blood.

• I always always said the worst ever possible scenario was if missing episodes ended up in the hands of someone with their own agenda. And now look what has happened.

• Biggest load of pathetic hogwash I ever phucking saw in my life. Pitiful and stupid and sad. A press release for morons.

• How can you forgive someone who you know has held on to episodes for years? Maybe if he sits on his precious film cans long enough, he'll get blisters on his arse.

• They are all talking out of their arses. YEAH RIGHT - THAT REALLY PHUCKING WORKED, DIDN'T IT.

• I gave everything back and asked for nothing in return.

• His lips were sealed - yeah sure - Sealed with KY Jelly

• I always thought finding missing episodes would be a joyous occasion. But it's been curdled like pouring vinegar into fresh milk. I wish Phil Morris never found any episodes.I would most certainly be a much happier man these days if that had been the case.

• Others fawn and hope and wait and discuss ridiculously false rumours, while I have the acumen to see what is REALLY going on here. It is crazy. And it is most definitely NOT a good crazy.
  

• Don't be so damn phucking STUPID. 

• I was only given the e-mail on the oath that I never circulate it. I swore I never would. I am sorry but please believe me, it does exist and I have it safe and sound.

• You really need to consider the fans and not just the callous wishes of this one self-motivated man.

• Do I worry about the consequences of my actions? If you don't know the answer to that ridiculous question, then you should be on a forum about eighteenth century latin folk songs, pal. Do you SERIOUSLY expect me to care more about mental health of my rivals than 97 missing Doctor Who episodes. THAT'S CLASSIC. "ME" of all people. That's like asking why David Cameron is still Prime Minister.

• ABSO-PHUCKING-LUTELY THANK GOD, THANK GOD INDEED, that I do not behave in an awful and cavalier manner.

• I have never heard such utter crap in my life.

• I am reporting here as a journalist, in a journalistic capacity, using my sources to gather facts, and every word I have typed can be legally considered "fair comment".

• I tried to get to see him face to face at the Excel last November, to challenge him right in his face in person, but he got wind that I was looking for him, and had vanished when I got up there to the Green Room.

• P!ssed myself. Too wonderful for words. EVERYBODY has to see this. FABULOUS

• The greatest defence to a suggestion of slander is the truth. And the fact that Phil Morris has gone against everything which I stand for, and the fact that I hate him vehemently with all my body and soul is as true a statement as I could ever make.

• PUH-LEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE !!!!!!!! If you see a silhouette of a horse, shadowed against the sun on the main road, it is far more likely to be a horse than a zebra.

• Can you imagine what this bullsh!t is doing to me ?? Can you BEGIN to comprehend my angst ???

• THERE HAD TO BE A BETTER WAY THAN THIS.

• Oh yeesir massah I be shuttin up now I be your slave and do whatever you say massah (Phucking w*nker)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• Considering my thirty nine year history of working in America with black singers, and my forty six years of collecting black music, I am actually anti-racist.

• The biggest problem here is that the more we talk about him, the more he laughs at us, and the more we play right into his hands. Last night someone suggested he be given an MBE. I recoiled in abject horror.

• Look everyone, I really have enjoyed posting on here. It allowed me to get stuff off my chest that I was bottling up. It was almost fun but my last word on the subject is you are a callous, opportunistic, and insensitive pig. And I will never forgive you for your selfish cruelty.

• I HATE YOU. I hate you more than I can put into words of blood. You are my antithesis and in my humble opinion you is an utter disgrace in the way you have acted. I wish I had never heard of you. I wish you had never existed. You make me sick.

• I feel exactly like Binro The Heretic. DAMN RIGHT !!!!!!!

• I'm surprised you're not on the meths.

• We can all go phuck ourselves while the Scousers gloat.

• I'm not dancing in the streets. Sorry folks but it ain't good enough.

• We have enough to get mad about with Phil Morris's dreadful hoarding. Now we have to get angry about Gallifrey Base trampling all over anyone who has an individual thought. It's like the 1930s when the Nazis burned all the books. In 2014 this is a phucking disgusting disgrace.

• Utter utter utter nonsense. About as true as Santa Claus or the Tooth Fair or Unicorns. Utter rubbish. Utter BULLSH!T. In my humble personal opinion.

• I don't waste my time answering idiotic stupid pathetic cr@p, sorry. I have far better things to do.

• I shall have to take a long hard look at my very existence and of course the implications of who might be behind it are too horrific to contemplate. I have to find something else to do with my time other than let all this crap get to me like it is doing.

• Oh don't be so pathetic.

• I have been made privy to a great great great deal of information which I am not allowed to share. If I could share it, I would. But I can't. Please forgive me for not being able to breach certain trusts, but bollocks, bollocks BOLLOCKS to that. It's just BOLLOCKS. BOLLOCKS BOLLOCKS. And DOUBLE BOLLOCKS to that !!!!!!!

• "I p!ssed myself" is "the" most understated comment in the entire history of the universe.

• I don't care in the slightest what people accepted as a widely accepted fact, it was still bullsh!t all the same.

• I applaud what he did, but I revile what he has done. He needs to do the right thing and maybe have some tiny vestige of hope of saving his name from public hatred.

• I wish I could mentally erase all knowledge of your existence. But I can't and it goes on. And on. And on. And on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on

• It seemed to grow in size and stature over a twelve month period.

• People tell me kindness begets kindness, but I think selfishness and greed beget hatred.

• Oh puh-leeeeze. You give me far too much credit. No-one at the BBC gives a sh*t what I think. They have certainly proved that time and time again. I am treated like little mouse turds. It pains me to say it, but it's true.

• Ten Psychiatrists could write a literal encyclopedia of theses that could turn the world of psychoanalysis on its head. He must be a psychiatrists dream patient - all that power trip complex.

• HOW DARE YOU. You can phuck right off with your insidious allegations. I was merely trying to be helpful and generous, to someone who I mistakenly believe was a friend. I asked for nothing in return, but nor did I expect you to tell your boyfriend how much you loathed me.

• What a phucking first rate tw@t. I'd like to invite you to my annual Birthday diner in June. Eat sh!t and die.

• No one else could be so mind numbingly awful. You're a sick twisted phuckwit.

• I only hated you once you became what I can only describe as a secretive, manipulative, callous, paranoid, greedy, self-serving hoarder. And ruined all our dreams. You are despicable. (In my humble opinion of course).

• It''s a point well scored for freedom, a success for free speech, a blow to fascism. I hate fascism in all its forms. These are dark and depressing days to be a Doctor Who fan.

• I feel quite quite sick. DISGUSTING beyond belief. Hateful in fact.

• Oh bloody hell. You have missed the whole point entirely. It flew WAY over your head.

• I am only nasty to people who viciously and unwarrantedly attack me. I will always treat such people with raw contempt. I do not suffer fools.

• Substance...... Substance ?? It's got more substance than a steaming hot pile of rhinoceros dung.

• I'm not sure I like you very much. Not one bit in fact. The fact that you disagree with me makes me realise how wrong you really are. It's a bit like Alice trying to find logic in the Mad Hatter's tea party.

• I really do find you predictably incredibly tedious. When I need you to instruct me as to how I should behave, then be sure I will come to you and ask you. In the meantime, kindly STFU.

• Eat ground glass. Eat cyanide. You are not dealing with a rational person here. It's all quite pathetic and sick and inexcusable. I always thought the man was seriously dangerous. 

• I thought you had gotten over your rather sick obsession with me. Obviously not. THIS is why I phucking HATE Doctor Who forums...

• I either get some modicum of respect around here, or I'm off forever. I don't need to endure this sh!t. And no matter what you all think of me, you will all come to see how correct and accurate that I have been about all this, while you all either bury your collective heads in the sand, or blow perfumed smoke up Morris's arse.

• The most exciting the female Doctor will get is watching Jodie pluck her eyebrows.

• WELL WELL WELL. For the second time, a new Doctor Who regular is an artist I produced lots of records on! NO, CLEVER CLOGGS THE FIRST WASN'T DANCE-FLOOR CLASSIC DOCTOR IN DISTRESS - John Barrowman who I produced six songs on! .

• WOOP DE DOO Are you all so scared of upsetting anyone you're all going along with this SHIT - Chibnall makes JNT look like Orson Wells. I haven't seen any of it yet, but I can judge it because I've seen Jodie Whitaker. I've seen Bradley Walsh. It'll be Dermot O'Leary next. It's a parallel universe where the Doctor becomes a not very good female actress and the companion is an embarrassing game show host. At least Ken Dodd and Bonnie Langford played opposite a male Doctor. The BBC have gone quite mad. 

• Any possible remote hope of me trying to keep an open mind vanished when they compounded it all by casting Bradley Walsh..

• I do not have a phobia when it comes to vaginas. I had no idea that boy was autistic.

• Look here Sunshine. Your nauseating little trick of quoting everything I say to make you look like a clever big boy to the adults is a bit phucking pointless. GROW UP !!!!!!!

Shit! He's onto me! Eddie, get the suitcases and book the flights to Brazil!