Single Fiction reviews (iv)

The Sixth Doctor Collection

In Their Nature (Simon Skupham) picks up right where The Twin Dilemma left off, meaning we get a story with the Sylvest twins as companions - so, please, contain your enthusiasm as best you are capable. This unique TARDIS crew arrive on a distant planet where some unlikable tourists are threatened by some generic toad-like slave traders before the local fauna kills all the bad guys. The regulars are vaguely sketched in, irrelevant and generic, so this is a perfect recreation of that particular period of Doctor Who.

The Twelve Doctors of Christmas: Six Geezers Laying In Wait (Steve Lake) shows this saga is still not flagging, with not only the clever title and plot revolving around half-a-dozen East End gangsters planning a smash and grab on Christmas Day. With this contemporary crime drama and the shoehorned appearance by the Master, this manages to evoke the brutal black comedy spirit of Season 22 quite well.

One lingering issue about The Enemy of the World, especially following its rediscovery is the question "Why is this the only time the Second Doctor has ever been mistaken for a world-famous dictator?" Salamander (Eric Bakke) flips it round and shows us a time the world-famous dictator has been mistaken for the Second Doctor, specifically by a bewildered post-Two Doctors Peri. At a cocktail party.

Renaissance of the Daleks (James Stewart) takes a similar approach to The Triumph of Axos by turning a happy ending to a TV story into a truly apocalyptic downer. Alas, Renaissance is rubbish and manages a variety of cardinal sins in its meager 1000 words - the Doctor and Davros are totally out of character, the continuity with Revelation is completely wrong, and the whole thing is a pointless attempt to do the Time War in 1986. Would Peri really be cheered to note the Doctor did absolutely nothing to avenge her death and simply waited for Davros and the Daleks to stupidly kill themselves after multiple genocide? James Stewart thinks so. Utter crap.

Nine Lives: Simple Life (Simon Skupham) is probably the best installment so far of the Nine Lives saga as it actually threatens to make a lick of sense. The basic plot of entitled tourists using lions in a nature reserve as target practice is actually more topically-relevant now than it was at the time, but again the sparse prose, in media res and unresolved runaround nature falls apart. If six different Doctors can't or won't solve the mystery, why should we care? It's not like anything's at stake.

Diplomatic Immunity (Mark Simpson) is a crossover with Babylon 5. Having actually watched this show, I can comment slightly more - and the regulars of both series are captured well, with the Sixth Doctor and G'Kar becoming friends far cleverer and fitting a development than you'd expect; both being antagonists who evolved at their end to become virtually-flawless heroes. The trouble is, of course, that the two franchises don't fit together at all. There's no room for the First Ones and the Time Lords, and getting the Daleks to cameo reminds us that we've already had this story before. Twice. With Jon Pertwee. On television. Still, points for effort.

The Last Knight (Simon Skupham) sees an appallingly-stupid and annoying Peri captured by knights on a medieval planet called Spitlok and the Doctor inexplicably going to her rescue. The fairytale storybook prose makes a nice change, as well as the linear narrative, but it's another "kill all the bad guys and leave" which I suppose maintains the Season 22 atmos if nothing else.

Forced Realities (Sarah Taplin) is an unfunny, plotless tale of the Doctor and Peri trying to get a VR machine to work but it doesn't. In the meantime, lots of ghastly pop culture references pad out the word count, such as "She picked out a book called ‘Notes from a mostly harmless small planet by Ford prefect’. Peri giggled. Why would anyone name himself after a car? She skimmed through the forward written by Arthur Dent (Human). Apparently this was the original version of Earths entry into The Guide. Peri made a mental note to ask the Doctor about this Guide." which has no relevance to the main story at all. Not that that would have improved it...

No Way Out (Simon Skupham) begins in the middle of an adventure with no interest explaining how we got here. The Doctor's in the condemned cell and Peri has been sentenced to hard labor by polishing bullets. Because there's a war on. Or something. And it's in a castle. I think. And the Doctor and Peri sod off to leave everyone to die. Yep, that's about right for a Skupham tale.

Kaye Redhead was clearly inspired by the Sixth Doctor/Peri line up and the cynical petty black comedy of Season 22 obviously appeals to her given this glut of stories (and even more of them on her own website). Brutal, tasteless, wisecrack filled vignettes are in turn overloaded with crossovers - Last of the Summer Wine, The Tomorrow People, Blackadder II in Arguably Alien, Thargon Gambit and Time respectively - or in the Master/Omega team up in Eye of Fire, gratuitous fanwank. The stories seem written entirely around snatches of dialogue the author liked, with plot, characterization and even clarification of what's happened thrown aside to the point it feels whole chunks of the story may or may not be missing. The sitcom arch-nemesis bitching of characters completely outstays its welcome but the novelty of viewpoints in the Doctor-lite Peri's Day Out and Despair and Desire show just how frustratingly good Redhead can write when there's even a vague point to the story in question.

A Change Of Art (Simon Skupham) wastes its first half with a kind of reverse Slipback as Peri gets drunk at a space bar, something that has no bearing on the rest of the story as the Doctor tells an artist to change his entire approach... because the Doctor read this happened in an art history book and must fulfill history. How thrilling. Still, no dark murderous ending, so that's nice.

All Too Soon (Eric Bakke) in a neat 1000-word conversation between the Doctor and Peri about their time in the comic strips with Frobisher, and specifically about how long it took for the Doctor to remember to come back for her. The answer, and the reasons for it, are a heartwarming look on their relationship - achieving far more than the next story, which attempts something similar and fails utterly.

The Grief (Mark Simpson) is, to be generous, a paragraph's worth of self-pity as the Doctor pauses between parts eight and nine of The Trial of a Time Lord to wallow over Peri's death. 250 words explaining that Peri dying is a bad thing and the Doctor feels bad. Utterly fails to evoke any sympathy for any character at all.

Mother Genralda (Steve Blair) is a bleak little tale where the Doctor gets a call for help he cannot accept, and the grim ending has a twist. Pity, as the idea could fill a whole novel, not just a brief Single Fiction.

An Unexpected Swim (Eric Bakke) is, um. Well. Sort of like that five-minute trip to Metebelis III from The Green Death, except it has the Sixth Doctor falling off an iceberg and going for, um, an unexpected swim. That's literally it, there's nothing else. Yet this is the story's strange allure - there must be more to this, surely? Mustn't there?

Shorter but vaguely more functional is the same author's Bad Side of the Moon where the Sixth Doctor witnesses a talentless prog rock musician and his sophisticated pet cat attempting to rip off Pink Floyd. The Doctor has better things to do and leaves immediately. After these thousand words, you can't help but agree with him.

Freedom of Choice (Paul Pollock) is a short, bittersweet glimpse of a Sixth Doctor/Cyberman adventure with a downbeat ending and doesn't waste any of its 894 words. A treatise on compassion, naivete, despair and maturity, it does more with both the Doctor and Cybermen in a few paragraphs more than the classic series ever achieved.

The Lucky Fess (Eric Bakke) is an extrapolation of the idea from DWM the Sixth Doctor used the TARDIS as a zoo to save endangered animals. Nice.

Jupiter Rising (Mark Simpson) gives us the sole appearance of Grant Markham in the Single Fictions. Not hard to see why. Lacking any interesting personality or extrapolating anything from his novel appearances, Grant is so bland it might as well have been a solo Doctor mission for this generic Silurian tale. Now, Diamond Dogs, there was a hard sci-fi story on the gas giants worth telling!

Invasion from Mars (by Mark Simpson) starts out as an attempt at a crossover with The War of the Worlds before revealing that the Doctor and Evelyn are stuck in the Land of Fiction again. Why Wells' Martians have to be fictional when Albert Steptoe, Sam Beckett, Randall and Hopkirk and the Vorlons count as "real" escapes me. It can only have been written so the author could claim to have done a tale with Evelyn Smythe, who is so generic and forgettable it's possible she was turned into fiction at some point already.

Dr. Smythe gets a better outing in the sixth Decade story Moon UNIT (by Mark Simpson) but that's really all that's good about the tale of Apollo 11 bringing back a Karnwassi egg - a xenomorph without the body horror, basically - that runs around killing hippies until drugs prove too much. Yeah, drugs are bad, you filthy hippies. Sheesh.

Time's Edge: The Parkesine Principle (Mark Simpson). Sigh. Flip. Autons. Jenny and Vastra. A plot that was done better in Industrial Evolution. Would Flip really understand the Uncanny Valley concept? Does she really seem like a Downton Abbey fan? Does anyone care about the history of plastic? Not I, sir. Not I.

The Ruins of War (Simon Skupham) is a shocking departure from the author's norm - there's a beginning, a middle and an end! Things are explained to the characters at the same time as the reader, the Doctor abhors violence and uses his wits to solve problems, and there's an uplifting ending. Was he ill? Either way, this interesting look at game theory, the Prisoner's Dilemma and the cycle of conflict is one of Skupham's best works.


The Peacemaker (Mark Simpson) gets off to a poor start with the Doctor and Mel bitching at each other about how boring the author's previous works have been - their words, not mine! - and gatecrash a possible peace treaty with the Sontarans and the Rutans which of course will never happen, because Lance Parkin already did that in The Infinity Doctors and anyway no one cares. The first episode's dramatic peak is the TARDIS crew having dinner for crying out aloud. Ironically had the aliens involved not been so infamous, the "downer" ending where peace talks fail might actually have had some clout. Sorry, Mel, but it seems your run of dull, formulaic stories isn't changing any time soon.

Fear Sphere (Simon Skupham) is, again, a surprisingly straightforward and easy-to-follow tale of a sideshow attraction in a space theme park threatening punters with their deepest fears. With some interesting characterization for Mel, including how her own travels have affected her, even the "call the cops" style ending feels right for once. There's no doubt about it, Six/Mel brings out the best in this writer.

Revenge of the Gastropods! or An Awkward Encounter or "The Worst Villain You've Ever Faced" (Frigata san Miguel) ends the Sixth Doctor's adventures with an outright comedy skit as the vengeful son of Mestor proves to be even more rubbish as a villain than his father. Add a hilariously rude Doctor and a gormless Mel not realizing she is being repeatedly beaten up for being annoying, and you've got a 1000-word farce it's hard not to enjoy.




The Seventh Doctor Collection

Season 24 appears to only appeal to Simon Skupham as he is the only author to tell tales of the Seventh Doctor and Mel. Arthur's Parabola's central concept - an innocuous shop on a ruined planet is actually an insidious death trap - means that the usual problems of brief descriptions, in media res and another "run away and let them die" ending aren't as bad as they are with his other work, and not nearly as frustrating as the Nine Lives series.

Temple Of Xzaniac, alas, doesn't quite get off quite as lightly.  There we have some unscrupulous archaeologists betraying the Doctor and Mel to gain favor with a mountain tribe who worship a god who's name rhymes with "Maniac" and every member's name starts with the letter Q and sounds like a duck farting. The efforts to deal with the topic of imperial colonialism are undermined by both white folk and tribesfolk being vicious, spiteful bastards and that the artifact they're after mysteriously kills people just as a mysterious pit kills people mysteriously. The Doctor refuses to explain anything to Mel, who doesn't question it, because he believes mysteries should stay mysterious. If this were a book, it'd be hurled across the room in disgust by now.

Death Ray (Simon Skupham) is an AU where Ray rather than Ace became the Doctor's new companion and their own take on Remembrance of the Daleks where things are decidedly smaller in scale. Ray's well-characterized and ironically more interesting and unpredictable than Ace would be in a given situation. The straightforward adaption of the TV story means the curt 1000-word limit doesn't render things totally incomprehensible.

The same writer's Enclosure is set right after Dragonfire and shows the Doctor and Ace's first adventure together in his usual stubborn and cryptic style. In this case they meet a highly-strung inventor with the unfortunate surname of Twaddle who is building a model replica of Brighton Beach for space criminals. At least the Doctor is too busy being cruel to Ace to murder him and so lets the authorities sort it out. Or something.

Spirit Guide (Terrence Keenan) seems the flipside to Mark Simpson's A Little Knowledge as the Fourth Doctor decides to manipulate, bully and generally ruin the Seventh Doctor's life for the greater good. Acting as liaison between Time Champion's different incarnations, we see the Fourth Doctor as a wannabe River Song as he sends the Seventh Doctor down his "Cartmel Masterplan" without spoiling any surprises. Charming, but not fun.

The Lines of Destiny (James Stewart) attempts to address the elephantine continuity problem of deciding just what happened to the Seventh Doctor and Ace after Survival with the straightforward answer that the Time War screwed everything up. In this case, the Cult of Skaro take pre-emptive moves against the Doctor by rewriting the order of Season 25 with the same implications of Faction Paradox, but at a 1000 words it at least doesn't outstay its welcome.

Tony Amis explores the Doctor and Ace's friendship in two brief vignettes. Momento sees the Doctor paralyzed by the big picture after destroying Skaro and Ace's impulsive, devil-may-care response is perfectly believable.

Similarly, A Day Like Any Other Day sees Ace pauses the start of another adventure to clarify her relationship with the Time Lord. Both stories are short and sweet.

The First Law (Mark Simpson) is a cliche-filled Frankenstein pastiche with the Doctor and Ace visiting a mad scientist and his lumbering servant in a castle on a dark and stormy night. Having Ace point out the cliches and then having the villain say they're there to make things all gothic is clearly a metatextual from Simpson who doesn't understand what it means. Clearly an early effort as even the characters are badly-done.

The Quelling (Kaye Redhead) is a bewilderingly-pointless tale of the Doctor and Ace walking into a cave, unwittingly awakening a Lovecraftian universe-swallowing Evil From Before The Dawn Of Time and then stopping it by smashing a Faberge egg or something. Utterly, totally meaningless in every respect.

Sunday Best (Simon Skupham) is very out of keeping for Skupham's usual style. The Doctor spends some time in Putney befriending a disillusioned vicar and Ace is impatient for the other shoe to drop and the inevitable Evil From The Dawn of Time to arrive. Although, as ever, the crucial plot moment occurs off screen and is only alluded to, the end result is one of the more mature and thought-provoking he's provided. And no one gets murdered.

Likewise, Bittersweet Deceit has the Doctor and Ace providing moral support to an ex-UNIT soldier who's tell-all expose is being rejected by the alien-disbelieving public rather than his stories of life on the front line. It's rather moving and sensitive, but the way the story cuts to the character's deathbed without explanation is bewildering. Was he doing his book tour from a hospital or a hotel? Pay attention!

Finally, Let's Pretend We Won A War is a parable of fake news and self-deceit as the Doctor and Ace discover an alien race lying to itself about its own history, despite the obvious dangers. The only real flaw is the Doctor not sticking round to get involved with the plot, but conceding defeat and leaving the ignorant and arrogant Malrians to their fate. True, the Doctor can't save everyone and solve every problem, but if he's not willing to at least try then what's the point in even writing about him, especially his most interventionist of incarnations?

Seventh Son (Kaye Redhead) is the first and last appearance of the "arch-villian Abass", a poor man's Heironymous from The Masque of Mandragora except he can summon rain instead of fire. After spending the first half of the story waiting for the Doctor to turn up and then grumbling the Time Lord is better at dealing with the titular chosen child than he is, Abass sets out to be a kind of more-successful Wile E Coyote laying booby traps for unsuspecting road-travelers before becoming an agent of the Black Guardian. I'm not sure we missed out much there.

The Print (Chris Pollard) is a grim tale of Neil Armstrong's legacy being wiped out by a resentful failed astronaut, but despite the good characterization of the Doctor and Ace they're really just there to have the plot explained to them. Short, bleak and more poignant now we've passed the year this story was set in.

Mindfade (Kaye Redhead) is a borderline AU, wherein Shou Young joins the Doctor and Ace aboard the TARDIS following the events of Battlefield. I quite liked this lineup, evoking the BF team-ups with Hex or Mel that allow a fresh look at the Doctor/Ace dynamic and would have liked to see more of the gang. Mindfade per se is Young's "initiative test" involving a brain-wiping virus ravaging an Earth colony in the future and Redhead's rapid turnover of plot, dwelling on random character moments or violence, remain as unsatisfying as ever.

In A Pickle (Mark Simpson) reveals the real reason the Doctor rebuilt his sonic screwdriver. Another of his "throwaway gags" that really don't merit this kind of word count.

Time's Edge: The Survivor (Mark Simpson) flings the Doctor, Ace and Hex against "old enemey" the Master in this bewildering semi-sequel to Dust Breeding. Although the characters are all well-drawn, it's clear the author has no real idea what do with them so instead we get a trip around Simpson's only wannabe-DS9 Marston's Planetoid (or "Planeroid" as it is here) with cameo by forgettable alien Kesk (he was in Season 6B's Prisoners of Wonshu). Amy disguised as a fortune teller to save the day from something the Seventh Doctor of all people should have been able to cope with emphasize that this multi-Doctor saga really has no actual justification.

The Twelve Doctors of Christmas: Seven, San Juan's Swimming! (Steve Lake) surely wins points for the title alone, as Agent Mark Seven of the Anti-Dalek Force teams up with the Doctor and Benny to save the flooded Tritonian city of San Juan from Daleks. A fun romp in the spirit of the 1970s Dalek Annuals and told in the first person, it's a pity that the TARDIS crew are sidelined by Terry Nation's characters. Perhaps crossovers like this should be avoided for every-Doctor sagas like this?

Overkill (Kaye Redhead) is another surreal comedy crossover, as Benny Summerfield and Vila Restal go to rehab and immediately break out. And Death's Head turns up. Quite funny and entertaining as long as you have no interest or respect in any franchise involved, and find alcoholics rejecting their friends' concerns hilarious.

Prime Target (Mark Simpson) is a straightforward and generic Zygon tale, with most of the focus being on the Doctor and his frustrating relationship with unfunny wisecracking loudmouth and general trollop Benny. Was Simpson finding the character hard to write? Did he just generally dislike her? If not, any reader would after her non-stop barrage of empty-headed sarcasm after this. JUST SHUT UP, BERNICE!!!

End of the World? (Kaye Redhead) is a brief tale of the Doctor and Benny preventing a post-apocalyptic medieval Earth from being invaded by the Great Intelligence and a single Yeti. The ideas are better than the application, but at least the regulars are properly-captured this time.

The Birds (Terrence Keenan) is just like that Alfred Hitchcock film. I mean, exactly like it. The only difference is that the Seventh Doctor, Ace and Benny are the ones threatened by the titular avians and there's slightly more discussion about what is causing the homicidal winged vengeance. It's quite good but... it's just The Birds. And generic NA angst. There's nothing new here at all, not even the bloody title!

Wait Until Tomorrow (Steve Lake) is a heavy-handed but forgivable sketch of the NA Doctor's nicer side, as he goes out of his way to help a wheelchair-bound teenage girl cope with the depression and stigma of being a cripple. A tale about embracing the joy of life can really stick out like a sore thumb in this gritty, dark era.

Cruise Liner to the Stars (Mark Simpson) is as the title indicates another doomed-passenger-filled-spaceship tale as the Doctor, Ace and Benny try to save lives without changing history. A cheerful and straightforward tale, it's still clear that the author is not comfortable with the NA regulars or their relations with each other. Can you imagine New Ace turning down a drink, Benny approving of mind-rape or the Doctor thinking "Damn! Why did Ace always have to be right?"

The Contest Continues (Charlie Day) is an overwrought and overwritten attempt at a New Adventure by someone who's never read Blood Harvest, which this contradicts completely when a depressed Doctor summons Romana from E-Space to help him fix the TARDIS. Tackling the ideas of Time Champions, using companions as chess pieces and all the usual stuff as though it had never occurred to anyone before, there's a kind of clueless charm about this. Day clearly put a lot of love and effort if not any actual research into this character piece and direct sequel into The Curse of Fenric.

Digging Up The Past (Mark Simpson) is another effort to do Bernice Summerfield justice and while it's not half as bad as previous efforts, it's no success either. Quite simply the plot involves Benny sitting at the Doctor's bedside as he recovers from a Pertwee-ish style coma, and don't worry, UNIT are on hand to spell out the similarities in big friendly letters. The reason for this is both the First and Fourth Doctors screwing up an attempt to cage an energy being. Hmm. No wonder they need future Doctor to save their sorry arses...

Just Go Away (Steve Lake) is an interesting look at the oft-neglected Wolsey and how the Doctor would cope with a cat as a companion, specifically the way it would disembowel birds like any ordinary cat and how badly the life-loving Doctor would cope with it. Full of unspoken metaphors and helplessness, it's amazing that no one's done something like this before.

The Sun Hill Slasher (Mark Simpson) is another crossover, with The Bill of all things, because obviously only the presence of soap opera policemen could pad out this slight story about a vampire, or the little interest the author has in the Doctor, Chris and Roz. The Sun Hill gang get the lion's share of everything, and given how badly this fits in with The Bill (which has had many a character make a Dr Who joke), it just feels badly. Ironically, that episode with Sylvester McCoy as the eccentric treasure hunter using the Sun Hill bombing as a distraction to work out his master plan feels better suited to the concept than not.

The same TARDIS crew gets a better deal in The Generation Who Forgot to Live Their Lives (Chris Pollard) for the traditional Decades debacle. A pure historical focussing on the bitter and depressing early punk of the late seventies, the time travellers' murder investigation shows just how they were wasted in Simpson's tale, especially at the crushingly-mundane conclusion to the tale.

The Reign of Floods (Steve Lake) is a four-part epic tale that has a real NA feel to it with a cheeky reference to The Invasion novelization by Ian Marter being extrapolated to a cold war action thriller, with Roz, Chris and the Doctor dealing with the various action tropes. Sex, violence, submarines, curse words, texting, POTUS and no gratuitous fanwank - bar the over-the-top villain being named Briers, anyway...

The Lost Emerald of Meripolis (Mark Ritchie) is another thousand-word tale that means we don't get a good look at the Doctor/Chris only TARDIS team, but that aside it's a diverting 1000-word tale of an alien fisherman finding a doomsday weapon and a certain Time Lord prodding their conscience about what to do with it. The stupid alien names are very grating, though: "I know Zargoleanderboudliator's salvage laws!"

The Crow (Loretta Thessane) is a vacuous 1000-word story challenge that results in the Tenth Doctor encountering someone who looks like Sylvester McCoy in a Whitby town following a visit by Dracula. Frankly, it's longer to explain than to read and why it's listed as Seventh Doctor story at all boggles me.

The Vessel (Kenny Davidson) is a Babylon-5-inspired tale of an expy-Delenn tending a dying expy-Kosh with the Doctor arriving to kill the expy-Vorlon Ambassador for the greater good. Despite the derivative origin, this is a solid entry about the rights, wrongs, nobility and horror of euthanasia with some ghastly puns. Pretty much the Seventh Doctor's era in a nutshell, really...

Prodigal Son (Chris Pollard) takes the lame idea that James Bond was a Time Lord and... well, does something with it, at least. The newborn Pierce Brosnan incarnation is recruited by the Doctor to travel back in time and assassinate "Yamesbond's" father Borusa (now in a pre-teen incarnation) in a time loop or something. Surprisingly adds little to either mythos.

Overlord (Joseph Schofield) is a moving tale of the Seventh Doctor tipping the tide of battle during World War Two while also taking time to save the soul of a German soldier caught in the middle of it. Clever, well-researched and with a dramatic conclusion, this is the sort of thing that should be a Single Fiction baseline.

Carnage (Kaye Redhead) follows a similar line, but it's deliberately pointless and nihilistic. The Doctor saves a soldier on the beaches, but who cares given all those he didn't save? Not to be read if you're in a bright mood.

Nine Lives: Daniel (Simon Skupham) finally threatens to provide a point to the last six time-wasters, but the threat is an empty one. The latest kill-McPhee plot is as un-involving and impenetrable as ever, the Doctor's reason for wanting to save these unpleasant sods is likewise boring. The only plus is it's relative brevity.

Room of 1000 Words (Guy Moon) has the Doctor encountering a room of ghosts and memories, in particular ex-companions from Roz backwards. It's inoffensive, and but for the fact the ghosts tell the Doctor to pull his finger out and stop dwelling on emo-angst, unoriginal but if anyone needed to be told "Lighten the hell up!" then it's the New Adventures crowd, so points for effort.

The Gift (Mark Simpson) is an attempt to give the Seventh Doctor an End of Time style lap of glory as he sees his favorite companion for the last time, but the mundane future for Ace and how feeble a gesture both make to their friendship leave it totally hollow. The direct sequel The Visit does nothing to improve this, alas, nor does the idea the Doctor always sees a vision of the Watcher before his final episode. Sheesh, talk about spoilers.