Monday 25 December 2017

The Emperor's Xmas Rant

And now we cut to Mister Marcus Fishface Goucher the Third at Chief Mango Butilaze Cul-De-Sac for his yuletide review of the Doctor Who Christmas special.


Ok, the episode was not as comedic as I feared. It still had the silly comedy music score and some silly banter between the Doctors however Moffat was clearly trying to give it a serious undertone. It was however very poor in other ways. There was a serious sci fi idea on there somewhere regarding the creation of a database of the memories of the dead. However the stuff with the Dalek was self-indulgent and the plot was undeveloped. Where was the actual plot? Seriously that was a disjointed mess of half formed ideas. Boring and self-indulgent and a sad way to end the series as we know it.

Ben and Polly were hardly in it. Poor show. Everyone needs a sailor at Christmas.

Peter Capaldi is an excellent actor and was a good choice to play the Doctor. He just needed better stories and scripts, specifically written by me. As for Miss Wittacker (sic), it's too easy to tell however I was not impressed by what I saw. I suspect that she will both try to play it comedic and also be generically feisty. This will jar.

And her costume is absolutely terrible. Like they aren't taking it seriously.

And it certainly isn't at all sexist to hold the opinion that the Doctor is a male character and should be played by a male actor. That we are in a place where people questioning the wisdom of casting a woman on the role are described as sexist simply shows the immature level to which society is sinking, with opinions formed by internet memes and virtue signalling rather than rational thought.

The fact is a female Doctor is totally wrong, completely inappropriate and beginning of the the end of the show. A totally inappropriate choice. The Doctor has always been a male character and this will be a change too far for many viewers. Also Jodie Whittacker (sic) has worked with Chibnall before so one cannot escape the likelihood that she was cast as a familiar face whom he knows he can work with. This is just BBC PC casting coupled with desperation to generate media attention. Totally wrong, completely inappropriate and beginning of the end of the show.

I presume that they'll go for even more 'emotional' overload with the Doctor agonising over the morality of her actions etc. Not my kind of thing. I doubt she'll last more than two seasons. I predict that the ratings will initially shoot up for her first couple of episodes before declining rapidly. It is of course very bad for the character, which as always been male. I'm angry about this however the BBC won't care about fan reaction. They will however care when the casual viewers stop watching, which they will. But mark my words, the ratings will go down and there is even the danger of cancellation. Combining the appointment of Mr Chibnall, a mediocre writer whose back catalogue of scripts are worse than those of Moffat, with the casting of an inexperienced female actress in a traditionally male role (essentially a new character) and you are taking one hell of a risk. No, you have a recipe for failure!

The big question really is what the quality threshold of the general audience is like nowadays. If they'll watch any old tripe that is popular or in vogue then the casting of Miss Whittaker as a female Doctor could be a successful move as it has been a hugely effective publicity stunt. If not then it will all rest on the quality of Chibnall's scripts. Nuwho has been rather boring throughout the whole Moffat era and his Christmas specials were an absolute nadir. Combine a female Doctor and an even more boring writer and the ratings will fall further after an initial upsurge. However if Chibnall writes some cutting edge sci fi then he might pull it off, presuming Miss Whittaker is a tad more interesting in role than her interviews on youtube.

The main problem with too many of the Christmas specials over the years is their overly light, comical or fantasy nature. Serious sci fi elements are sacrificed in favour of supposedly 'family friendly' comedy, robot santas, snowmen, jokes and Harry Potter type nonsense. The most credible of the specials was probably 'The Christmas Invasion' but even that had Tennant being silly and jokes about satsumas. So hopefully this year they may get it right, given that the first Doctor is in it. The best ever Xmas special for me will always be 'K9 and Company: A Girl's Best Friend' from 1981. It was taken seriously with a dark witchcraft theme, serious acting and some genuinely scary moments.
I watched it again last night.


What a festive wee chappy he is.

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