The Characters:
- The Doctor, eccentric time traveler pretty much over her recent sex-change. Is possibly Banksy.
- Graham O'Brien, a man who married a black woman and drove a bus. Now sits in busses and doesn't give up his seat for black woman. Known to the folk of Alabama as Steve Jobs, wacky phone inventor.
- Yaz Khan, overconfident arrogant cop from future Yorkshire. Was a total slut in tenth grade.
- Ryan Sinclar, a man crippled with dyspraxia but has no problem pouring coffee. Suspiciously-specific denials of being a cannibal, if you ask me.
- Krasko, former Stormcage-inmate, serial killer, vortex-manipulator-owner and cosmic racist. Calls Olag Gan a lightweight when it comes to strangling cats and thinks Kaston Iago is underrated.
- Rosa Parks, that sanctimonious cow from Sherlock who, seeking new things to complain about, is now upset that she has to sit at the back of the bus like all the cool kids do. Gets an asteroid named after her but then again, James Bond, Sherlock Holmes and Sheldon Cooper have asteroids named after them. It's not that big an honor when you think about it.
- Mr. Parks, Rosa's husband who due to poor studio lighting looks rather like a white guy.
- Martin Luther King Jr, a nice bloke not to be confused with Martin Luther King Sr or Martin Luther.
- Jimmy Blake, racist bus driver with a vendetta, who has been cruelly overlooked by history even though he did the really hard bit of getting an unarmed woman arrested for sitting on a bus. She literally just sat there, both times, but does he get any credit for it? Nowhere damn near well enough!
- Frank Sinatra and Elvis Presley, two friends who swap mobile phones on weekends.
- Emmitt Till, unfortunate tourist who was lynched before the episode starts. No doubt in ye olden days he would have been played by Terry Walsh in blackface.
The Plot:
Well, depending on who you ask, Doctor Who has either been fighting racism since day one or perpetuating it from the very beginning. Should we focus on the lead character overcoming prejudice and defining themselves as the absolute opposite of space Nazis? Or that David Maloney wasn't fussed about yellow face? Should we focus on the positive role models this year of transgender folk, racial minorities and the disabled? Or whine that an off-screen lesbian was murdered by space zealots and that doing a whole episode about black folk having it bad doesn't make 21st Century white folk feeling persecuted automatically embraced by all society?
Should we perhaps ignore all these entitled assholes on twitter who think anything less than their own worldview is scum and all white males should be executed in gas chambers (especially if you enjoy Talons of Weng-Chiang) and focus on what we actually saw in this episode that really should have been called Spirit of Rosa.
A temporal anomaly lures the TARDIS to 1950s Alabama the day before Rosa Parks pulls her bus seat stunt that is a keystone in historical developments of civil rights. However, some random loser from the 51st Century has come back in time to try and screw it over. Is he really trying to pervert human development for nefarious ends? Is he just a stupid racist? Was Chibnall just getting cold feet about bringing back the Monk?
Either way, our heroes have to suck it up and force Rosa to go to jail and live a life of horrible struggle that nonetheless changes the world and improves it a heck of a lot. The end result is probably the closest to a pure historical you can expect in the 21st Century series, with a full-blown exploration of how the Doctor can't treat the past of humanity the way she treats other planets. Sure, if this story was set on the planet Drangos where Drangs were being persecuted by the Thargs you can be sure that it would only take 45 minutes before the evil Tharg dictator was defeated and the Doctor dancing on his desk as the revolution is won.
But it's not. The plight of Drangos can be covered in a few minutes of exposition and we can all wistfully go "Oh, if only it was that easy to defeat the Nimon..." (The Thargs are working for the Nimon. Obs.) but this is the world our parents and grandparents lived in. The idea some gender-swapped Time Lady in a blue coat could have sorted out 1955 racism, the idea that it could be solved easily by someone smarter and braver than Rose Parks or Martin Luther King, does not sit well. We have/had to solve our own shit instead of some fictional character sorting out the nasty parts of our world for us.
So as people boggle across the globe wretch at the idea of the Biased Brainwashing Corporation telling people that the past wasn't perfect and the present's no walk in the park either, let's be glad it wasn't Mark Gatiss or Gareth Roberts writing this one. Because, yeah, they could probably do a fun comedy romp where the Doctor using the sonic to blow up a KKK meeting while aliens control state troopers with water canons. I'd probably have enjoyed it, but this stuff was real. People were hanged for saying the wrong words to the wrong tourists. There were stupid, incoherent and utterly dumb rules (yeah, you don't serve negroes in your restaurants because you don't want their money but you have to pay the ones that work in your kitchens). More than that, it's made clear that while the white folk had it easier back then, segregation didn't make them happy. The whites are terrified of the blacks. The jerk who slaps Ryan plays it like Ellen Ripley fighting an alien; he wants nothing to do with this but he will not allow a loved one to be endangered. Despite having a gun, the bus driver is completely cowed by a feeble old black lady out-staring him. Even the folk in the diner, who are seemingly happy to have the multiracial TARDIS crew in their midst, are shitting bricks when the diner staff get all angry. Racism helps no one and nothing.
And it will take more than psychic paper or sonic screwdrivers to stop it. The Doctor can defeat a wannabe time meddler with both hands behind her back and a blindfold on. Making mankind realize how utterly stupid and unproductive its prejudice is is a hell people lived through every day. You don't get a magic fix-it.
That said, Ryan still seems the main companion this year. Be nice if the others got something to do bar give Ryan someone to talk to and provide some useful exposition. But then, it's just typical for the black man to get all the hard stuff to do, isn't it?
Things I Learned From This Episode:
- Racism is bad. It's really bad. It's really, really, really bad. Not just in 1955, but even in 2015 where a white man had to prove he wasn't a racist before the woman giving him chemotherapy would consider date him.
- If you're black, you don't just have to deal with the white man grinding you down but time assassins too.
- Rosa Parks is many things. A civil rights hero, a living embodiment of freedom, but she wasn't the first black bus driver.
- American cop cars are like the shark from Jaws.
- Yaz is a Pakistani Muslim, but she doesn't like to go on about it.
- MLK was drowning in GILFs even before he was famous.
- No Alabaman will want to own land where a black man might juggle fish.
- Subtitlers think Jodie Whitaker is wearing a "cut".
- The TARDIS's crystal time rotor goes up and down like a proper time rotor.
- There is an asteroid named after Rosa Parks, so in the future space bus drivers will have to swerve and avoid and shout "Bloody Rosa Parks!" a lot. Oh, the onward march of progress.
- Taking about "separating whites and coloureds" when you're doing the laundry is now super awkward.
Stuff To Watch Out For:
- 2:30 - Well, if at first you don't succeed...
- 3:25 - And lo, a hundred fanfics were written. Mainly explaining that T-shirt.
- 4:26 - It's a white glove, too. What would Michael Jackson think?
- 7:06 - Bearded white guy recognizes the TARDIS, goes "oh no" and bangs on the door four times? Meh, it's probably nothing.
- 7:42 - So who was the first black woman bus driver, huh? Answer me that!
- 10:12 - ...why? Why is any of that there? Especially the toothpick!
- 11:13 - Nope, I don't know what it stands for. Is it a logo for briefcase sellers?
- 12:53 - it seems much later in the day on top of that tank than it does beside it.
- 19:34 - for the benefits of Americans, "Paki" is not short for "Pachyderm" because Indians are into elephants or something like that. I'm not joking, some yanks actually have not understood that.
- 22:52 - Oh Yaz, you still wonder why no other police officers want to work with you.
- 23:09 - it's like a more racist version of the opening credits to Nightingales!
- 26:18 - you know, she's even less danger than she appears to be. Impressive.
- 28:28 - this is probably karma for The Twin Dilemma. Probably.
- 31:36 - Rove proved this was historically and culturally accurate. So good for him.
- 34:52 - It's like Hustle, only the fate of all history depends on it and no one's getting screwed over!
- 36:31 - Yeah, the fistbump was a vain hope for all concerned.
- 38:10 - See, it's not her bra at all, you filthy little perverts!
- 40:14 - What the hell is Rosa sewing up? That wasn't part of the job!
- 42:44 - "Does this remind you of Archer, Barry? Yes it does, Other Barry. Yes it does."
- 44:49 - You know, technically this was already on her to do list. Makes all the stress a bit unnecessary when you think about it? She would have just done it tomorrow otherwise.
- 48:09 - Bill Clinton would definitely tap that.
- 48:54 - I demand the previous episodes be re-edited to feature Journey of the Sorcerer by the Eagles and Set Your Controls by Star One. God dammit.
Quotes:
Yasmin: "Should we know what artron energy is?"
Ryan: "She's the bus woman, right?"
Yasmin: "You do remember what she did?"
Ryan: "Yeah, first black woman to ever drive a bus."
Doctor: "Is anyone excited? Cos I'm really excited."
Graham: "You won't be if it's a bomb."
Doctor: "Don't kill the vibe, Graham."
Mason: "You being disrespectful with me, Mister Jobs?"
Graham: "Steve Jobs would never disrespect a Montgomery police officer, sir."
Krasko: "I was young. Nobody got hurt. Well, a few people got killed. A few hundred people. A thousand, tops. Two thousand."
Doctor: "Love to explain all that to you, but you know us Brits, very imperious, not prone on explaining ourselves to anyone. So, no time to chat, just get driving."
Blake: "If you don't stand, I'm going to have you arrested."
Rosa: "You may do that."
Standout Scene:
The Doctor and Foghorn Leghorn from Minuet in Hell, when she forces him to remove any pretense of being an impartial law enforcer to reveal his mindless hatred and prejudice without one raising her voice, verbally painting him into a corner when all he can do is stand there like a crap window dummy made out of pure bigotry.
I HEAR THE DOCTOR FIGHTING RACISM AND I APPROVE! YEAH FUCK IT UP BABEZ!
Mr. LightHope from Superiority Complex Audio Drama's Rant:
One of the most bland Doctors to date. In fact, probably the most bland. I have yet to figure out who she is. Any humour or eccentricity seems forced. Whether that is bad writing or bad acting, I have yet to determine. And seriously, that magic wand stance has got to to. I cringe every time I see it. So far, she is my least favourite Doctor to date.
(Wow, Mr. "Pray The Gay Away Online" doesn't like a transgender Doctor. Still, the SCADs are real experts on bad writing and bad acting, along with forced humor and eccentricity. They know what they're talking about when they call a Doctor bland - they keep hiring David Segal, after all.)
Mr. Sparacus from Colchester's Rant:
3/10. So much wrong with this its hard to know where to start. At least it was educational. But it was simplistic, the alien was pointless and whose backstory was not explained. It is frankly absurd for him to believe that the USA or the universe only evolved out of racism because of Rosa Parks and the bus boycott. I do hope he returns in future episodes as he was very easy on the eye. And if ever an episode of Nuwho was suited to be a pure historical/educational episode it was this one. But no. Plus the song at the end was completely inappropriate and spoiled the episode. It was modern chart pap with no connection to the plot. They could have used 'Strange Fruit' by Billie Holiday, a song with a message!
Chibnall has picked the most fashionable political cause to advance - anti-racism, a cause already won ages ago but provides a political correct about polemic in a US-centric nature of the episode. Just because it was set in the USA during the dawn of the civil rights movement it totally ignored milestones in European anti-racism! A racist villain should be an extremely polite, courteous, well-spoken gentleman, like Jacob Rees-Mogg - someone quintessentially English who would never tell someone to **** off while swigging from a can of stella and belching loudly.
I much prefer that film Mississippi Burning where some of the victims were white, and not doing that here just because it had nothing to do with Rosa Parks shows how unsophisticated and caricatured the script was. It should have focused on the feelings and thoughts of white people, but every single white American was utterly racist.
Apart from that *****-lover married to Parks, but he doesn't count, though, does it?
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